Take Three Minutes to Think of Yourself First

Take Three Minutes to Think of Yourself First

I am not excessively religious, but I do believe that I have a definite place in the divine scheme. After all, God has created me after 84,00,000 incarnations!

Therefore, I learnt years ago to take care of myself. Perhaps I have inherited this disposition from my mother. She looked after herself well and was usually in good humour. She would take greater care of her mental drawing room than the one in the house. Cheerful herself, she spread cheerfulness all around.

I was prompted to write this editorial after having listened several times to the audio tape, One Minute for Myself, by Dr. Spencer Johnson of One Minute Manger fame, a book which has sold no less than 40,00,000 copies.

It seems relevant after my having share with you my research on sons, daughters and wives. However, I think myself should have come first, then wife, next daughters and finally sons.

Now, let us stop awhile and take stock of what we have been doing. May of us are racing through life at such a frantic pace that we don't have the time to stand and stare and think. We are blind to the glory of a sunset and the beauty of flowers. We keep deluding ourselves by saying, let me finish this thing, then I'll relax or Let me slog for a few years more then Haridwar. When we are speeding breathlessly along, life passes us by. It is a pity that many of us are moving at great speeds without checking if we are going in the right direction. We are so busy looking at our speedmoters that we forget the milestones, and blunder along the wrong road. Now let's stop a minute and think... is it not more important to go in the right direction first, than to be so obsessed with the speed? Take it easy. Relax. Read. Reflect. Make sure you're on the right track, then... zoom ahead.

How can we live a more meaningful and satisfying life? By wringing happiness out of every minute that is slipping through our fingers, that's how. But our own happiness, to a large measure, depends on our ability to make our near and dear ones happy. And, conversely, we can give others happiness only if we ourselves are sufficiently happy. Because, how can you lend me a hundred rupees unless you have at least six hundred of your own?

Thus, it becomes imperative that we increase our balance in the Happiness Account. I will tell you a simple technique for achieving this goal.
Take three minutes every three hours to think of yourself first. This is how you go about it :

First minute : Drive away all thoughts. Empty the cup of your mind of its stale contents, and prepare it for fresh thoughts and ideas. Thought lessness first.

Second minute : Think of what you can do now, or a little later, for yourself that will make you happy.

Third minute : Start doing it or imaging that you have done it.

I have may ways of doing it. One of them is this : I think of Hema Malini! Because way back in 1976 in Bangalore I was able to persuade here to sit on a Ford 3600 at the Ford launch and won a bet of two bottles of Scotch from may senior colleague, Mr. Indarjit Singh. Now, when I think of that moment of triumph I once again become the here. Here, that's it! Think of similar achievements and you are on the way to thinking of yourself first.

We sometimes come across people who sacrifice their own pleasure for the sake of others. In the process they collect a great deal of cuts, bruises an scars. These hurt. And on top of it all, the people for whom sacrifices were made generally turn out to be ungrateful.
The pain turns to resentment and keeps accumulating. All the bottled up anger starts showing in the tone of their voice and their dropping eyes and long faces. Shocked to hear this, are you? Why don't you look around?

Then there are some blessed souls - those who put smiles in their voices. Observe them. Often they are neatly dressed, contented and do not believe in bending themselves backwards to please others. They look after themselves first. They are happy, and they share their happiness with others. Somehow, we foolishly call them selfish. But, come to think of it, what is wrong if they have fun themselves and share the fun with others?

After these general observations, let me come to an individual instance (that's me!). I bounce out of bed at 6 a.m. and ask myself, What can I do now that will make me happy? I don't let any dismal thought intrude into my mind. Instead, I start waking up my daughters with sunny cheerfulness in my voice. And, my day begins pleasantly.

I carry the same sparkling spirit to office. There I start the day by rearranging my cabin here and there. This pleases my aesthetic sense and elevates my mood. Then, the day's meeting commence. I breeze through them with a song in my heart. By Minute Manager - one minute for setting goals, one minute for praises an done minute for reprimands - I make the meetings yield the best results. If a dealer comes to visit me, I think of ways of making him and myself happy. So, we talk, joke discuss politics and have a real good time.

Lunch, at Escorts, is more of a picnic. I relish talking to my colleagues and dealer guests. I enjoy sharing with them what I have ready recently. I also learn a great deal by listening to them.

Lunch, at Escorts, is more of a picnic. I relish talking to my colleagues and dealer guests. I enjoy sharing with them what I have read recently. I also learn a great deal by listening to them.

Around 3 p.m., I again ask myself what I could do to make the Escorts Dealers Development Association Limited (EDDAL) more beneficial to its dealer members. I repeat this wholesome exercise at 6 p.m. and 9. p.m.

Lunch, at Escorts, is more of a picnic. I relish talking to my colleagues and dealer guests. I enjoy sharing with them what I have ready recently. I also learn a great deal by listening to them.

Lunch, at Escorts, is more of a picnic. I relish talking to my colleagues and dealer guests. I enjoy sharing with them what I have read recently. I also learn a great deal by listening to them.

Around 3 p.m., I again ask myself what I could do to make the Escorts Dealers Development Association Limited (EDDAL) more beneficial to its dealer members. I repeat this wholesome exercise at 6 p.m. and 9. p.m.

  • I have discovered the unsurpassable joy of work. To me work is happiness because an honest day's work is the best medicine for all ills. And its side-effects are achievement, success and lasting happiness.

  • I always take time off for myself - an hour or so during which I can do whatever pleases me without feeling guilty about it> Sometimes I use it to take a walk around Humayun's Tomb. During the walk I hold communion with myself. I see with my mind's eye - that deep-seated visionary faculty which is so powerfully symbolised by Lord Shivjee's Third Eye. I consider ways and means of making myself happy. Sometimes I just play back to myself the floppies of what I have seen or read which would enable me to do my job better and would pull me out of an occasional indifferent mood. It helps. At other times I enjoy the luxury of going out and buying a big watermelon or simply indulging in kite flying.

  • I have learnt to say no! I love to do somebody a favour, but I do not allow anybody to take me for granted. I am willing to feel hurt for others, but I do not fancy the idea of bleeding myself to death for others. Am I selfish? I don't think so.

  • I learn from my mistakes. They are my best teachers. Instead of letting a mistake disturb my present tranquility, I use the lesson derived from it to enhance my future happiness. I also observe others and learn from their mistakes.

  • I put myself first. Does that sound selfish? Well, in the long run it is good for everybody. I do not sacrifice so much for others that it would start hurting me. I stop doing for others when I stop enjoying doing for others. Hence my service to others is warm and sincere. It makes them happy and gives me a great deal of pleasure.

  • I never et insulted. Have you heard the following story?
    A young MBA rushed into the sales manager's office and complained that he had been insulted by a dealer. And he gave the details. The sales manager after giving him a patient hearing, said. son, I have been in the dealership business for 25 years. Dealers have virtually thrown me out of their showrooms, have shouted at me, have delayed payments... but no dealer has ever insulted me!
    If you have self-confidence and self-esteem, no one can ever insult you. I know my own worth. Therefore, no one can really offend me or shake my faith in myself.

  • I ask questions. They help me avoid dumb mistakes, and prevent future misery. The habit of asking questions also assists me in establishing healthy communication with my inner self, and makes the process of exchanging thoughts and ideas immensely satisfying for both of us.